Glasses Asses

Yesterday I finally went for an eye appointment and now I am hot again.

Wait.

What?

Back in college my mother paid for my contacts, bought me two new pair of glasses, and then said, "ok, you're on your own." As in, from that point on, vision was my own financial responsibility. As in... fuck.

So I did what any poor early-twenties girl would do and I made those contacts and glasses LAST. The one year supply of contacts lasted me about a year and a half, and the glasses lasted me almost three years. Before they broke. Both pairs. Because that's what happens when you're a nanny. Who drinks a lot.

Since then I've been wearing a pair of glasses with a prescription I was given in high school. Or to translate, since then I haven't been seeing very well.

Plus, when I decided to go without anything on my eyes for Halloween (glasses just didn't really go with my JEM outfit), I got the usual comments.

"Wow, you look really different without glasses," the Veterans told me.

"Oh yeah? Do I look hotter?" I joked.

"Yes," they said, without missing a beat.

"Gee, thanks," I scowled at them.

"Well I mean, I'd fuck you either way," Jon assured.

Yeah. Thanks.

So I finally decided it was time for an eye appointment. But when your healthcare does not include vision, and your wallet does not include money, that is easier said than done.

Luckily I discovered that Wal-Mart has eye appointments for only eighty-four dollars. Eighty-four dollars! And since I had put $100 in my health savings account the week prior, I was more than covered. Hell, that left sixteen dollars for medicinal tequila!

In the end, I spent one hour and $100 at Wal-Mart that day, and walked out with a new prescription, new contacts in my eyes, venetian blinds, a box of kleenex, coffee, and a strawberry frosted donut with sprinkles.

I might not be a huge fan of Wal-Mart, but I'm a pretty huge fan of that.